


distraction

by soulfriend



Category: X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 03:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20419127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulfriend/pseuds/soulfriend
Summary: NO MORE X-MENUnited Nations officially calls off search for the radical mutant activists known as the X-Men and declares them dead. World celebrates.Shatterstar must continue in a world without Rictor after nearly all the X-Men perish by Nate Grey's hand.





	distraction

Shatterstar disregarded the queasy feeling in his stomach on the night it happened.

He’d been eating a pack of instant ramen noodles, watching one of his favorite TV shows. Shatterstar reached for the remote to turn the volume up, but before his fingers could grasp it, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, like he’d been punched.

Shatterstar brought his fingers to his chest in confusion. There was no apparent injury, and the pain had already dissipated. He turned his attention back to the television screen, uneasy. Something was wrong, he just couldn’t pinpoint what. He had that feeling in his stomach that you get when you’re doing something you know you shouldn’t.

Shatterstar turned the TV off and went to bed.

* * *

Shatterstar was awoken the next morning by a knock on his door.

“Hey, Star… ya there?” He heard the person shift. “It’s Rahne.”

Shatterstar threw off the covers and walked over to the door, yawning. He cracked it open and was shocked to see a distraught-looking Rahne, tears threatening to spill over her eyes. She clutched the morning paper like a lifeline.

“What happened?”

“Look, can I… can I just come in for a second?” Shatterstar nodded, apologetic. Inviting people in was one of those human customs he’d never quite been able to get down.

Rahne brushed past him and flopped down on the couch. He heard her sniffle. “Rahne…” She wordlessly held out the paper as Shatterstar approached. He’d never understood the phrase “heart dropped to your feet” until he read the headline.

**NO MORE X-MEN**

United Nations officially calls off search for the radical mutant activists known as the X-Men and declares them dead. World celebrates.

When Shatterstar looked back up, the tears were flowing freely from Rahne’s eyes. It took several tries for him to speak. “Is Ric… is he…”

Rahne shook her head. Her voice was small when it came out. “He’s gone.”

Shatterstar took a seat on the couch next to Rahne. He felt her take his hand in hers. “I’m so sorry, ‘Star… No one knows what happened…”

Shatterstar drowned out Rahne’s shaky voice. He felt like crying but he couldn’t bring himself to; his whole world was spinning. He closed his eyes, reaching out through space for Rictor, for his anchor. Julio’s comforting presence was disturbingly absent; the only thing Shatterstar saw was the image of a beach, the waves lapping nonchalantly against the shore.

Shatterstar blinked open his eyes and stood up abruptly. Rahne wiped her eyes. “‘Star, what’re you…” He let go of Rahne’s hand and focused on the beach. The familiar X-shaped portal opened before him, and before Rahne could say anything else, he stepped into the glow.

* * *

The wind blew Shatterstar’s rusty hair across his face as he emerged from the portal. He blinked a few times to adjust to the light. Shatterstar didn’t know what he expected; the beach was unsatisfyingly empty, and the small waves seemed to be mocking him. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong, and being here only amplified it.

Shatterstar took a few slow steps forward and felt the tug in his stomach he’d felt the previous night. Something glinted in the corner of his eye. It was only for a split second, but it was enough to draw Shatterstar towards the water where it’d come from.

He knelt down to inspect the object in the sand. Running his thumb across it, he recognized it as the gold cross-shaped earring Julio often wore. Shatterstar swallowed, and his hand started to shake. Through blurry vision, he let out a scream. The X-Men were no stranger to death, but this time it was painfully, unbearingly real. They really were all gone.

Julio Richter was dead, and he wasn’t coming back.

* * *

Shatterstar was fiddling with the earring when Sam Guthrie knocked on his door.

“Shatterstar, open up!” he yelled in his Kentucky twang. “Ah got a job for ya!”

Shatterstar pocketed the earring and cracked the door open for the second time in twenty-four hours. “What is it, Sam?”

Sam’s determined look faded from his face upon seeing Shatterstar. “Shit, dude,” he mumbled. “You doing okay?”

“Yes, I am fine,” Shatterstar lied, rather unconvincingly from what he gathered of Sam’s pitiful facial expression. But he didn’t pry any more. ‘Star appreciated him for that.

Sam sighed. “Anyways… me an’ Domino are puttin’ together a team. Remember that kid who said he was Cable?” Shatterstar nodded and ignored the pang in his chest. Cable’s death was still too fresh. Not something he particularly wanted to think about, but if it got his mind off Julio, he supposed it would do. “We’re gonna try and find ‘im. We’ve got Jimmy, too. We’re tryin’ to get Tabby but she’s bein’ difficult. Just like old times, huh?” Shatterstar avoided eye contact. He appreciated the sentiment, but things would never really go back to “old times.”

Then again, a distraction was a distraction.

“I am in,” ‘Star said firmly. Sam smiled.

“Great!” He shook Shatterstar’s hand. “Pack up, we leave tomorrow.” Sam’s expression softened again. “Y’know, I’ve missed having you on the team.”

Shatterstar let himself make eye contact this time. Sam’s eyes looked worn, but hopeful. He grasped ‘Star’s hand and squeezed it gently. “Hey. Everything’s gonna be okay, eventually.”

Shatterstar looked down again, forcing himself to believe him.

* * *

It had been a while since Shatterstar had felt the familiar warmth of blood on his skin.

His decision to wear a black uniform was paying off, he thought after hearing the 

of his swords meeting flesh for the first time in a while. He didn’t really know why he used to wear all white; to show off the gore of battle, he supposed.

There were more important things in his life now. Or, well, there used to be. Now his nose was back to the old proverbial grindstone.

He pulled his sword out of the chest of an unmoving MLF soldier, wiping the blood from the blade with his finger. He caught a brief glimpse of himself in the shiny metal; it was a Shatterstar he hadn’t seen in years. A scared little boy who had no direction in life, whose only life was killing, killing, killing. Killing and running.

Out of the corner of his eye, Shatterstar saw the soldier at his feet reach for his gun with shaky hands. ‘Star placed a firm foot on his wrist, holding the tip of his blade to the man’s throat. With a quick jerk of his wrist, crimson red flooded the ground.

As he watched the life drain from the man’s eyes, Shatterstar concluded that change was only temporary.

* * *

Sam was mad at them. Well, specifically Shatterstar, not the whole of X-Force.

“Ya can’t just go around killing everything that moves, Shatterstar!” Sam ran a hand through his grimy shoulder-length hair. “X-Force ain’t killers.”

Shatterstar looked off to the side, silent.

“Sam’s right.” Shatterstar focused on Domino’s voice. “We need to be more strategic.” Shatterstar huffed, plopping himself down on a nearby crate.

Sam’s footsteps approached him. Shatterstar could feel his breath as he sat next to him. “‘Star. Look at me.” He threw a glance up at Sam. “I know… things’ve been hard for you since Ric died. I just need ya to-”

“This isn’t about Ric!” Shatterstar realized he’d been a bit too loud once he felt everyone in the room turn their eyes on him. Everyone being Jimmy. It felt like a lot more.

“It isn’t,” he said after a moment, more quietly this time. He may not have been stellar at picking up human expressions, but he knew deep down that Sam didn’t believe him. He was a terrible liar, at least according to Julio.

No. Stop. Can’t think about him anymore.

Sam sighed. “Well, whatever it is, I need you ta sort it out. We can’t screw this up.” Sam gave him a terse pat on the knee and wandered off to discuss plans with Domino.

Shatterstar put his head in his hands. One of them came away wet. He furiously tried to swallow the rest of his tears away, to box up every thought of Julio and pack it away in a far corner of his mind. Now wasn’t the time, he needed to focus. He came on this mission for a reason.

For the first time since he’d escaped Mojo, Shatterstar wished he could just forget.

* * *

Shatterstar was sneaking up behind a sixteen-year-old kid.

He gripped the small dagger in his right hand, reverse hold, sword in the other. He didn’t trust this kid who called himself Cable. So many things seemed off about him. For example, the fact that he didn’t notice Shatterstar sneaking up behind him, in the snow, no less.

The kid turned the corner near a wall. 

, Shatterstar thought. He lunged out, elbowing the kid in the chest and pinning him against the wall, knife to his throat.

“Oath!” the kid exclaimed. “You better get that knife away from my neck, Shatterstar.” Another burst of anger flowed through Shatterstar, hearing him say his name.

“Look me in my eyes,” he said, quietly but with intensity. The kid refused, closing them.

“I’ll stab your damn eyes if you don’t drop the blade!”

Shatterstar huffed. “I knew Cable a good many years. I would lay down my life for him, as he would for me. I see none of him in you."

The kid suddenly opened his eyes. “Well, that’s your problem, hollow bones!” Shatterstar blinked. The glowing yellow eye was almost blinding. “I’m not here to convince you. I don’t care if you don’t think I’m the real Cable. Bodyslide by one.”

Shatterstar jolted as the kid disappeared with a 

Seconds later, he felt his breath leave him as the kid’s elbow connected with the back of his skull.

“That was a cheap move!” Shatterstar snapped. “Cable never would have-- oomf!” Shatterstar coughed as the kid jammed his comically sized gun into his chest, nailing him against the same wall he’d had him pinned against moments before.

“Shut up!” The kid lowered his gun to Shatterstar’s feet. “The Cable you knew outlived his usefulness.”

“Lies.”

“He was failing at his job.”

Shatterstar let out a breath of frustration. “Every word that comes from your mouth-”

The kid jabbed his gun at ‘Star’s chest again. “I had to come in and clean up his mess.”

“--nothing but lies.”

“Now, I might not be exactly like the Cable all you folks know and love, but I’m the Cable you’ve got.” The kid retracted his gun, turned on his heel, and started stalking away.

Shatterstar knelt down to pick up his dagger and sword. “You are nothing l ike him!” he spat. “I will never  accept you as him!”

Shatterstar might have actually run the kid through with his sword had Sam not stepped in and called a meeting. ‘Star spent it sulking in the doorway, as far away from this imposter as possible. How could this child just 

and call himself Cable, replace Cable, even? Shatterstar felt his blood boil. No one could replace the man who’d taken him in, given him purpose.

Of course, there was probably a bigger reason behind Shatterstar’s fury towards the adolescent who murdered his mentor and was now claiming to be him, but Shatterstar was here to forget that reason, so he did not allow himself to dwell on it.

* * *

Shatterstar was standing in front of a portal. Not one of his portals, though; an advanced portal to get him back to his own time. The purple glow illuminated his face, and his hair rustled in the breeze.

‘Star was not exactly looking forward to getting back to his own time.

Shatterstar had had his doubts about going to save the kid, but after seeing what the kid had been through, and how level-headed he’d come out of it, ‘Star had no doubt in his mind that this was the real Cable-- albeit a shorter, skinnier, more hormonal version of Cable.

Shatterstar cleared his throat and prepared to swallow his dignity. He was also stalling for time, but he would never admit that, hardly to himself.

“Before we leave, I thought it proper that I told you face-to-face. I was furious over what you did to Cable.”

“I _am-"_

“Let me finish!” If that kid interrupted him one more time, ‘Star was going to regret saying anything at all.

“After what I saw. How you were willing to sacrifice yourself for those you care about. How you spared Stryfe to maintain the future.” Shatterstar took a deep breath before extending his hand. “I am no longer in doubt.”

The kid stared at him in confusion.

“I believe that you truly are Cable.” Shatterstar saw a hint of a smirk growing on the kid’s face, but it quickly dissipated. Now that was Cable. “And ask that you forgive me for not believing.”

Kid-Cable swallowed, as if he didn’t know what to say. “Thank you.” He shook Shatterstar’s hand firmly. “I know that he meant a lot to you. I only hope I can live up to his legacy.”

Shatterstar had to hold himself back from saying, _You will,_ because, well, duh. He took one last look at the kid. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be seeing Cable for a while.

As he stepped through the portal, that corner of his mind he’d spent all this time trying to ignore said, _At least you know you'll be seeing him again._

* * *

Shatterstar tried to return to normal life after he got back. He really did.

He and Rahne had taken joint ownership of the Shakedown. Shatterstar had been looking forward to taking care of the young mutants that Julio had provided a safe haven for, but his heart sank when he realized just how few of them were left. ‘Star could tell they missed Julio, too; no matter how hard he tried, he knew he could never live up to Ric’s legacy in that regard.

Sometimes he’d be doing okay, almost back to normal, and random little things would hit him. Like Julio’s favorite coffee place. Or the bench in the park they used to always sit on. Or how he can’t even remember the last thing he’d said to Julio.

One day he found the green sweater that he’d gotten Julio as a birthday gift a few months back. He remembered Julio laughing and telling him it was perfect. He remembered kissing Julio, running his hands through his shoulder-length hair. His smell still lingered on the fabric.

The sweater was too small for Shatterstar, so he put it in the bar’s back room for safekeeping. It was foolish, he knew, to pretend that Julio was coming back to retrieve it, but he couldn’t bring himself to give it away.

* * *

Shatterstar took a tentative bite of pizza. He jumped, drawing back in pain. Still too hot.

‘Star sighed and looked around for the TV remote. Tonight was his night off from the bar, but that wasn’t necessarily a good thing; more often than not, he drifted into a bad place if he wasn’t somehow occupied.

As he absentmindedly flicked through the channels, he heard a knock at the door. “I am busy,” he yelled in an effort to delay the inevitable human interaction. He really was not in the mood tonight.

“Shatterstar, you open this door right now or I swear to God I’ll open it myself!”

There was something achingly familiar about the voice. Shatterstar huffed and lifted himself off the couch.

“‘Star, you there? Shit, if you’re not home I’m sorry-”

Shatterstar opened the door and immediately felt like he’d been shunted to another dimension. There, in front of him, was a smiling, tearful, very much alive Julio Richter.

Shatterstar was at a loss for words, that is until Rictor took a step towards him. Basic instinct took over and within a split second the dagger that rested at his side was now at Ric’s throat. The grin dropped off his face.

“How do I know you’re really him?” ‘Star tried to keep his voice from cracking.

Ric placed a shaky hand over the blade. A small smirk crawled back onto his face, and he laughed. “God, I missed you.” Ric focused on a spot behind ‘Star, and the pizza that had been balancing precariously on the arm of the couch slid onto the ground after a short rumble.

Shatterstar took a step back, sheathing his knife. “Julio,” he said softly, vision going blurry. “Julio, I-”

Ric was already there. Shatterstar leaned into the kiss, laughing against Julio’s mouth, holding him tight. “I love you,” ‘Star breathed, tucking a strand of Julio’s hair behind his ear.

“Love you too,” Julio said fiercely. “I love you so much.”

“I have your sweater,” Shatterstar mumbled. Julio burst into laughter. Oh, how Shatterstar had missed that laugh. He pulled Julio close again, laughed with him, cried with him, let all of the emotions he’d been keeping trapped inside free.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr!! @flamebrain


End file.
